When the idea (and inspiration) for this week's post came to me I was immersed into one of my usual self-care practices, reading and writing in my process journal. As it happens I had a moment where I was able to pause and reflect on all that has transpired in a rather short period of time. I thought back to February 2009 when I had to be hospitalized because I was unable to take care of my self. My thought process took me thorough the challenging moments leading to, the experiences during, and the work and commitment that have transpired ever since. What happened to me was going to happen at some point in time. Did I see it coming? NO! Should I have recognized what was impacting my mental and physical well-being? YES! You see, the man behind the passion and influence of this platform was in a place and space that could not see the eventual outcome that was surely waiting...
It turns out that I was living in the moment of survival and that functional behavior that one leads when they just cannot see an opportunity out. I was suppressing and repressing while being immersed into the powerful affects and effects of burnout. Turns out that burnout wasn't my only companion at the time as there were continual triggers from my past that were telling me something, I just wasn't ready or available to listen. When the break happened I was thrust into the most intense ride of emotion that I had ever experienced. It was so driven that for six days it kept me running away from sleep and well-being. It was a roller coaster of the life that I had lived and all that had impacted my history. I was releasing what I had kept stored away, internalized in a manner that all I can say, it was like a boiling teapot ready to burst. I was being given an experiential lesson that had two outcomes waiting; resist and you will suffer for quite some time, or accept, work and commit and you will change for the better in ways that you never imagined.
I chose the second option and the journey has been amazingly powerful. The work that I was self-determined to embrace has opened a door that has truly impacted my personal self and professional practice in such a positive manner. What I have been able to overcome has showed me the way towards opportunity that I wasn't available to see in the past. What I have been given is a level of change that has allowed my process (from childhood to adolescence, young adulthood to the present) to breathe and release itself in order for me to live life the only way it should be. You see, prior to this intense experience I wasn't living. I was going through the motions of keeping it all together, not allowing myself to embrace my own vulnerability in a manner that would accept my authentic self. I was able to overcome with much effort, and for this I am well, I am strong, I am empowered. There is much more to the journey, and though I consider myself to be an open book, I leave out facts and particulars not due to discomfort, but because I choose to promote awareness, reflection and the process that leads one to help themselves!
May this weeks sharing allow yourself to be available to all that is possible. It is not a matter of if but when, Can You Hear Me?
About Author
Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process. More about the man behind the mission ⇢
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