"You don't have to think about doing the right thing. If you're for the right thing, then you do it without thinking."
~ Maya Angelou

February 19, 2011

When You Forgive You Live

At a time when I should be fast asleep once again the mind won't rest.  It won't rest because once again I find myself reliving an experience that keeps the wheels turning as I try to process and understand.  Today I visited with a friend (someone who I have a deep level of respect for) and I was witness to a behavior and energy that I had not seen in its entirety until today.  I knew it was present and I have been exposed in the past to lighter moments of it so to speak, but today was different.  Today, I witnessed pain and suffering in its truest form, only born out of years of challenged days and forced conditioning.  Its very difficult to watch someone you care for suffer when you know they have so much to give and live for.  Now I'm not saying this friend is in a state where I am worried that he will harm himself or others, no that's not the case,  What I am saying is that I witnessed someone act in a way that was not who I know he wants to be, and what I know he can be.  I know this because I have seen that person, but like many of us when the triggers hit they can produce a reaction that can and does display a level of existence that completely changes the individual...  http://www.healthycity.org/  (CA Only) and  http://www.211.org/  (Nation Wide)

You see helping someone help them self is not as easy as it sounds.  Sometimes you just have to let them work it out in their own way as best as they can.  This is a difficult process because you know what you want to do, say, etc. but you realize that any suggestions of support you have to give will be interpreted in a way where the person feels they are being attacked (or in the wrong) and that only adds fuel to the fire.  So you ask what can you do?  You listen...  You speak when you feel the need to but you definitely don't pass judgment or use words that will likely produce a defensive reaction from the person you are trying to reach.  This is what I found myself doing today, but none the less by doing such you take on the strain of that anger and pain, it doesn't control your every thought or action, but it can make your heart heavy and your mind strained.  This is the state I find myself in, so I write.  I write so that I can understand and continue to be available and present for a friend who I am concerned about.  I write so I can tell this friend that I now there will be a better day, I really do believe there will.  I write because I know how this friend can get through this but I know he is just not there yet.  I don't know when he will get there, but when he does I know how wonderful his life will become. It will be wonderful because I know the rewards that one receives when they get there.  When You Forgive You Live!       http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antwone_Fisher

February 8, 2011

Where You At?

Yeah today is is one of those...  I'm feeling a little low and I find myself trying to embrace the path I have found myself on for some time now.  It's a perspective and feeling that I know oh so well.  Let me explain.  I have been working hard for almost two years now getting back to a place of well being.  With that being said much has gone into making that happen, and more importantly maintaining it (the hard part in it all).  I feel really well and thus understand what it takes to make it all work.  However, as I have come to understand (since I was a young boy) you can not, nor should you fight the challenging low moments that are such a prominent part of our existence, and often come into play when we never see it coming.  This is where I am at.  However, I have never really been one to stay down for long periods of time.  Instead I find myself identifying with where I am at, trying to embrace the learning opportunity that is right in front of me and then work it out.   It is a challenge I don't run away from, but quite honestly run in to with the idea that I will move forward at some point, yes I will.

So, as I try and process the state I am in I move towards a understanding that I have come to embrace over the last several years.  Suffering can be temporary or permanent (long term) and it's up to you which outcome awaits.  This perspective only comes when you have committed to the process of changing for the better, and you are willing to do the necessary work motivated by the understanding of the benefits and rewards you know can be obtained.  Therefore, no matter how low I may be feeling now I truly understand that it is only a temporary state, and as I often say at moments like this: today may have been a tough one, but tomorrow is a brand new one so keep learning from yesterday, so that you can live today.

February 2, 2011

You Live It And Love It

Today has provided me with many moments of deep reflection...  Today I celebrate and honor someone who taught me much about life and how to carry myself with respect (for yourself and all whom you cross paths with), integrity, and the quality of life that can move you through life in a truly wonderful way.  In a world that often finds us searching for guidance, acceptance, and an unconditional love that never allows you to be vulnerable, I  am fortunate and truly blessed to have had such an opportunity to see it in its truest form.  If you have not come to understand (by reading my entries) that one of the best learning opportunities that I have had (and continue to have) is learning through the eyes of others, then I am not sure you have fully digested my words.

Today I honor and celebrate a man that would of turned ninety seven years young on this day, three years since he left us.  The lessons and love that he shared with me throughout the best of times, and the most challenging of times are the gifts that keep giving.  Often, when one passes on we are so truly devastated and at a loss, stuck in a state of grief and despair that we honestly don't see a clear way out.  Of course when we lose someone way before their time, it is harder perhaps to accept and move forward.  However, I believe that when we lose those we hold close to our hearts, they never truly leave as they remain within us and continue to guide and lead us down our paths in life.  No matter where your life is at this moment, no matter where you may be headed, or where you may be stuck.  May you always hold on to the lessons and love that have been given, allowing yourself to live life and love life.

About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW  Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me?  External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC.  Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work).  He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process.     
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