Here I am ready to breathe while I share with all of you. My post on this wonderful day was inspired by a conversation I had recently with one of my most respected (and appreciated) advisers. As we often do we discuss life, and the experiences and opportunities that we have learned so much from, and will continue to. The conversation was flowing and at one point the focus shifted to relationships. You know those, the ones that are personal, family oriented, work involved, and the many other situations that expose us to that dynamic of giving and receiving. We talked about the differences in these relationships. We discussed what we gained from our involvement and investment of. We processed what it took to be available and present for, and then... Our conversation opened that door to those relationships that we just have to step away from. The ones' that are not healthy for us and take from our bucket in a manner that creates more suffering and stress then one should ever have. You see, we all have these type of relationships and some point in time. With that being said we have a choice. One that allows us to make that decision, do I stay in this relationship? Or do I respectfully remove myself from, step back from, limit myself from... My take on relationships for quite some time looks like this. In order for a relationship to be successful it must operate like a two way street. On a two way street you have two moving parts coming and going, passing and interacting, stopping and yielding when necessary. On a one way street you have the complete opposite, there is only one part and it is doing all the work.
In order for any relationship to have a chance it has to give to your bucket. It has to be a mutual process, one that enhances the quality of your life, not one that continues to drain and consume you. When you are able to embrace just that it does present you with some difficult decisions to make. Removing or limiting yourself from a relationship that has been a part of your existence for some time is not an easy process. However, you must check in with yourself and acknowledge what you already truly know in your heart, it is time to back away, my bucket is emptying at a rapid pace and that is just not acceptable. Life affords us with may challenges this we know, but within the process of moving through and with these challenges there is an opportunity. One that will help you grow and evolve. One that will teach and guide you. One that will allow you to "Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable." ~ Denis Waitley
There are many wonderful things about the life that we can have. One of the best is that we are afforded the ability and opportunity to make a choice. With that choice comes change, and with that change comes an opportunity to move forward, while living a quality of life that we deserve. Don't allow your inability to stand up for what is right dictate the quality of life that is waiting for you. It is about you, and if you trust the process and go about it in a manner that is all about doing the right thing, then you will find what you need. There is no written rule that we have to remain in a relationship that is not healthy, no there is not. So, the next time you see your bucket cracking, eventually leading to a hole, ask yourself "What Can I Do About This?" May this find all those that can hear me well. Keep breathing and exhaling while you strive to live a quality of life that will keep you well. If you do this you will see it so clearly, and the individuals and groups you are working so hard to provide services for will to!