Acceptance...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

Acceptance...  It is hard to believe that the month of June is coming to a close.  The days just seem to be blending into one another, and so I use this forum once again to slow down my process.  It is only with understanding that I have been able to recognize what is important, and how I would be able to live the quality of life that serves me well.

Acceptance...  It really is the catalyst to changing for the better, as there is usually some form of resistance preventing one to see clear enough to begin the process.  It can be as simple as your pride getting in the way, that common refusal to confront what needs to change.  As I continue to share my own example, I know that my road to recovery would of never been obtainable without a true understanding (and awareness) of the problems and stressors that were negatively impacting my mental and physical well-being.  You see, I was unable to recognize what was transpiring (in the moment), though I was fully aware that it was only a matter of time before It would come to greet me.  Acceptance...

As I write, I reflect upon that period of time when I would soothe my thoughts with nothing more than avoidance and false promises.  Here I was, someone who chose a career to serve others in need, and I couldn't stop myself long enough to support the one person who truly needed the help.  It was so present, as I could see the road I was traveling down was not going to deliver me to a healthy destination.  I was not ready to understand, even with all the self work, training and awareness that I had cultivated along the way.  It was almost as if the lesson that was unfolding needed some more time, there was a greater purpose even if I couldn't see it.  So, as I now understand, my road to recovery could not of happened until I was willing to rebuild, refine, and open that door towards Acceptance...

Wherever you may find yourself at, let my example vicariously touch you as you move towards accepting what you can change. May you see your resilient being as you look upward, learn to forgive, express your feelings and recognize what YOU can control.  Until the next time my words meet your availability, may this find you breathing well...

 

About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW  Email 

Founder of Can You Hear Me?  Adjunct Lecturer and External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work | VAC.  Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work).  He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process as he continues to work towards progress!    More about the man behind the mission ⇢

Hope...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?


Hope...  You may have heard it before as it is the message that we hold on to in times of need.  It is surrounded by feelings, expectation, and often that desired outcome we convince ourselves we must have.  As I recognize another opportunity to share, I am filled with inspiration as I choose to model it forward.  Hope...

As we move into February, we are moving...  Whether it is in the direction of choice, we always have a say in the matter.  Yes, at times difficulty will arrive as when we just can't shake that "something" that seems to have a hold on us.  It is exactly this example of challenge that has my thoughts processing today with Hope...  

As helping professionals we often have the insight and a level of awareness as it applies to behavior, psychosocial stressors, risk factors and all those intangible forces that impact and effect one's well-being.  We are not protected from feeling (and taking on) these certain factors just because we are the helpers.  Therefore, it will always be important to recognize that we can be as exposed and vulnerable to these forces just like those we strive to reach and support.  Hope...

Imagine one of those moments when you just can not seem to remove that worry of what is yet to happen.  Whether it's a client's current status that is weighing you down, a pending meeting that revolves around uncertainty, or a personal challenge that you just can't seem to breakthrough...  If you are not well, meaning YOU are in that place of heightened worry and stress and you are not taking action/practice to facilitate change for the better, you will most definitely be suffering.  Now imagine you are taking healthy/positive measures to manage and cope with these areas of challenge, and you are still not feeling right...  What are you going to do?  Would you stop taking care of your needs?  Are you going to turn to unhealthy and negative coping mechanisms?

Now that I have you in thought there is a message waiting for you... The process of being well will need you to be patient with some Hope by your side.  You see, just because your practicing self-care and doing the necessary work, you are by no means removed from feeling stressed, anxious, frustrated and the gamut of emotions that are available for us all.  What it does mean though is that with practice in place you will be able to manage, cope and recover in a much more healthy and supportive manner.  You've heard me say it before "trust the process, change takes time."  If you are a non-believer, please feel free to experiment with this model.  The next time you find yourself consumed (and in the place and space that does not have you well) don't take care of yourself, do the opposite as you numb and suppress... At this point ask yourself, how am I feeling right here right now?

May my words today find you with some perspective, and another opportunity to help you help yourself (or someone in your circle who is in need).  Remember, hope is friends with resilience, but neither of them show up without effort and trust.  I am confident that what I've shared today is "truth" and "valid" as I have lived the example, and it only took a breakdown to produce a breakthrough.  Hope...



About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC.  Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work).  He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process as he continues to work towards progress!  More about the man behind the mission⇢

Who Do YOU Want To Be?

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

Who Do YOU Want To Be?  Here we are 2014!  First, let me wish all of those that can hear me a very Happy New Year!  I know for some, the transition back from having time off may have been a little rough.  I get that as I found myself ill just when I found the time to breathe...  However, as I/We approach the end of the week we are reminded once again of the power of our resilient being, as it moves us forward.  My writing this week is inspired by my own process, and the actions we all have the opportunity to enact.  I would imagine that this first week back into your reality may have provided some moments where you felt as though "I just can't or I don't want to..."  So I ask, Who Do YOU Want To Be?

It's a pretty straight forward question, one that can be addressed as long as you are a willing participant?  For example, at the beginning of the week I found myself unmotivated, disengaged and in a place and space that was not going to support any type of availability for others.  Who I was and who I wanted to be were truly far apart.  I found myself being tough on the one person who held the power to change his state, with a little acceptance in order I asked the question, Who Do YOU Want To Be?  I knew the answer, and so I began the process with action, choice and my resilient being by my side...

I went to that place that has supported me well during these challenging moments (when you are struggling to find the door).  You see, it's okay to feel this way, the importance lies within what you do with these feelings.  If you choose to reinforce negative behavior and actions (i.e. unhealthy coping mechanisms) then your outcome will be nothing more of the same, and it will likely have you moving further away from where you really need (and deserve) to be heading.  I have worked extremely hard to implement practices that support my self-care and well-being, so there was no question in my mind that I was going to get there.  I had to work through it though, and because I recognize the learning and growth within this space I knew I was going to be alright!

As I bring my thoughts to a close, my hope is that I have left you with some further support that ultimately allows you opportunity.  No matter where you find yourself at in the world you are living in, YOU have a choice.  One that can be continually addressed, while accepting of the lessons that will always be available for you.  We can not help others change for the better if WE are unable to help ourselves.  Being on auto-pilot in practice is as transparent as it gets and so I ask,
Who Do YOU Want To Be?

Until the next time my words meet your availability, may the weekend find you breathing well...



 About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC.  Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work).  He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process as he continues to work towards progress!  More about the man behind the mission⇢

Wisdom...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

Wisdom...  My writing this week is inspired by the words to the left, and my thoughts as a result have allowed for further process.  *Contrary to popular beliefs, wisdom is not the gift of "knowing everything," but rather possessing an open mind to further increase knowledge.  A wise person always thinks before they speak, talk about subjects they know about, and ask questions about the ones he/she are not familiar with.  People who possess wisdom tend to be humble and do not show off, Wisdom...

It is fair to say that I have been provided some life experiences that have allowed for necessary insight and reflection.  In addition, my academic training and work experiences have only enhanced my understanding and awareness, Wisdom...  However, what resonates with me today is that connection between listening and speaking, and how my roots have shaped and influenced my wise ways. Growing up the youngest in a house with strong presence, separation, challenge, distance and many other factors impacted my inability to have a voice...  These early influences shaped my identity, but they also opened up a door towards opportunity.  As I moved through this space and place I was able to further develop by observing, listening and learning from my surroundings.  This foundation in of itself shaped my development and my ability to see what most pass by, Wisdom...

Although there have been many times in my life when I would of rather spoken, I have been afforded a true gift because I did not.  One that has allowed me to see through the eyes of others, and give in a manner that can truly change the quality of life.  What once began by challenge has moved me through that thing we call growth...  It ultimately turned into an ability to effectively help (and support) and I have been rewarded, Wisdom...

As I leave you with your own thoughts, may you move towards a level of understanding that once again will allow you to see what you have, and not what you just do not need.  Listening when you would have preferred to talk, Wisdom... 

* "Characteristics of Wisdom." Reference.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Oct. 2013.  

 

 About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSWEmail
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process. More about the man behind the mission⇢

Who's Looking...

 by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

Who's Looking... Glad to be back hitting the keys as I open that door to my thoughts, inspiration and passion to help you help yourself.  Sometimes it helps to take a week off in order to be in that space and place that has one available to give.  You see, I gain so much from what I share, and writing for me is truly a part of how I take care of my self.  However, when I write I have to be moved in a manner that I can effectively give to the process.  This in of itself is not always the easiest to manage, but hey Who's Looking...

As I sometimes hit a wall and question the need to keep searching, I find myself looking for that something that I just cannot see. There are many out there in the social forums that share, and thus we all provide a different source of support. For myself, I know that my approach is showcasing my own vulnerability, so I am not focused on overwhelming those that can hear me with facts and bullet points.  No, I'm coming straight to you with experiential wisdom as I tap into your own struggle, whatever that may be.  My writing is that parallel process that speaks to that inner voice of yours, hoping to help you hit the pause, reflect and breathe, Who's Looking...

As we set to close down one season, while transitioning into a new one filled with future opportunities, my hope is that you will move closer to being available to see it.  I was reminded of just that earlier, when for a moment I went to that place of question and comparison... You know that space that is more about our own stuff than what anyone or anything may be doing, so I ask you Who's Looking...  It is very easy for our outlook on life, work, relationships, you name it to be influenced by the stress and uncertainty that WE bring into it.  When we carry this intention we are not operating with a peace of mind, we are often pointing the finger (and blame) towards someone or something that WE feel is the source of our distress.  A friend of mine once told me that our state of mind is so greatly influenced by having a peace of mind. This lesson is one that I hold as true, and so I use this example as another opportunity for you to see your own opening...

I encourage anyone out there that can hear me to continue to trust where you are at, while you embrace the learning that sits side by side with difficulty.  If you have not figured it out by now, Who's Looking is that opportunity to accept where we are at without judgment or control, as we realize who we are truly competing against.  There is no need to overthink the process, you just have to trust it as you continue to be well to your self...

My hope for you this week is that my words find you available and open to what resides on the other side of your own mirror.  It's always a choice, one that will demand a level of effort that will require you to work, but let me just say... When you breakthrough that space, the change you will see is transformative, truly empowering.  May the holiday weekend find you breathing well, until the next time we cross paths...

 About Author

 
Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process. More about the man behind the mission ⇢

Do Your Work...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

What does that mean?  It means something different for each and everyone who is reading this.  What I can share is why I chose to use this message this week, and hopefully by the time you are done reading this, it will have allowed for another opportunity to help you help yourself.  Do Your Work, yeah I've heard that before and I sure needed to hear it again this week...

As I transitioned from the weekend to the beginning of another week, I knew I was going to have much work to tend to.  I did my best to be aware of this, recognizing what was happening while putting my best foot forward to manage my needs and self-care.  You see, the act of work for me (deadlines, waiting on others, my expectation being challenged) was creating (or let me say I was creating) a level of stress and pressure that was impacting me in a manner I was not embracing well, Do Your Work.  I  found myself creating more out of something that I knew was not going to treat me well.  I lost sight of the acceptance I needed to have, understanding that everything was going to get done, not a matter of if, but when...  

Do Your Work in this case was about my commitment to the most important work out there, my self work.  Do Your Work was my most faithful companion this past week, a constant reminder that even though I was feeling like...  I did not stop the process of working towards progress.  I was right there in the midst of my challenge, but I never lost sight of my need to take care of myself.  We must always recognize that stress is unavoidable and if we have the right tools and resilience to keep fighting while we are immersed into it, then the ability to cope, manage and recover from it will help us move forward! 

May the words of the week find all of  those that can hear me available to digest, learn from, and embrace the resilient being that you are.  I am with you on this, and If I can be the one to showcase my own vulnerability in order to create an opportunity for you, well then, I guess I'm doing exactly what I should (and need to) be!  Until our paths cross again, as always may this find you breathing well out there...    



 About Author

 
Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process. More about the man behind the mission ⇢

Never Perfect...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

  

Transformation is never perfect...  I heard this exact message the other day from a source of inspiration that I have learned from on many occasions.  It resonated with me and thus I felt the need to process further, while extending another opening to all of those than can hear me.  When one commits to the process of change, there definitely needs to be a level of determination and belief that can motivate and inspire our actions.  There also needs to be a tremendous amount of trust, of the process that is.  You see, it will not unfold as you may expect or imagine and so often we are vulnerable to the effects of what we don't see versus what is happening.  Transformation is never perfect...

If it were there would be so much that we would never receive.  The lessons learned through challenge and obstacles would not present themselves, and the growth and resilience that we gain as a result do not exist.  When you are in the midst of transformation it takes a level of effort that requires one to commit to every day for the rest of your days.  As I open the door, one that has opportunity waiting inside, my hope is that you understand that it begins when you start.  Don't spend too much time trying to figure out what you just cannot control, instead, may you see what you can.  When you are able to separate the two, you are one step closer to being self-determined to change.  Transformation is never perfect...
  
It occurs when you are available to embrace the imperfect as lessons to be learned from.  As I leave you this week, it wasn't about the quantity of words, but the impact of the message.  If I am able to help just one of you off the ground, then I have succeeded.  If I am able to help you slow down long enough to see a way towards a better day, then I have succeeded.  If I am afforded the ability to continue to reach, teach, support and guide, then I am exactly where I need to be.  An opportunity that I would have never received if I didn't buy into the idea that Transformation is never perfect...   

Until our paths cross again may this find you breathing well out there!



About Author

 
Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process. More about the man behind the mission ⇢