Being A Big...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

Proud I am...  Being a Big (that's the term we use as big brothers or sisters who have the opportunity to positively impact a child for the better!) is by far one of the greatest decisions I've made http://www.bbbs.org.  Being a Big has rewarded me in so many wonderful ways, one of which transpired yesterday as I witnessed my little brother graduate from middle school, on his way to high school and beyond. So, today I am inspired to write and share a little bit more about my experience being a Big!

I met my little brother almost four years ago; I remember our first meeting quite well in that downtown Los Angeles office building, a grown man and young boy coming together for different reasons, but ultimately the same outcome. My little brother to be could barely look me in the eye, his body language clearly indicated that he had suffered before, let down and disappointed along the way, and his ability to trust had been fractured.  At this moment in time there was no doubt that I was exactly where I needed to be, wanted to be, and truly believed that in time my little brother would be able to lift his head up, look me in the eye, and show me his true self.

Over time and our visits together I was able to witness the kind, sensitive, and thoughtful young man I was beginning to understand and get to know. This in itself is not usually behavior that is rewarded when you are immersed into an at-risk environment, one that does not always recognize doing the right thing without thinking, even if it is coming from a young boy. Therefore, I was pleased to hear when his mother shared with me that the family was moving to a new neighborhood many miles away, an opportunity that would end up serving him well.  My little brother was now in a position to grow and develop in ways that would see him thrive, leaps and bounds.

His academic performance (and behavior) changed for the better, demonstrated by the grades he was now getting that far exceed his previous school years.  His participation in youth football (his passion is that game!) gave him a positive outlet while showcasing his athletic ability.  Sports has provided my little brother with a support system that lets him know that he is right where he needs to be, while giving him a great opportunity to be a positive role model to the many teammates that look up to him. His passion (and interest) raising and caring for his birds has helped him develop several positive attributes (i.e. responsibility, work ethic, compassion) that have served him well as he moves into adolescence. He always lends a hand to help his mother when asked upon, doing his best to model to his younger brother what it means to be respectful and responsible. The boy I met some time ago has become a young man, and it has been wonderful to watch his dreams and goals develop!

In life you are given opportunity, what you do with this opportunity will always be dependent on the choices one makes. I am truly happy that I made the choice to be involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters, and in turn my little brothers life. I have received much from this relationship, and I only hope that I have given back in return, as I will always strive to give him the support and guidance that he deserves. Being a Big always puts a smile on my face and strength in my heart.  I hope my sharing this week reaches you in that place and space that has you well, as you strive to help yourself while helping others in the process!

 

About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process.
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Cautiously Optimistic

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

As I find myself entering into a period of opportunity I was offered these words, Cautiously Optimistic.  Kind of sounds like this wise soul who offered this explanation was offering me some needed guidance while producing some reflection on my part.  Optimism is part of my DNA so to speak and putting conditions on this is not something that I find myself being familiar with.  The way I see it, when we are cautious we tend to hold back, not quite sure of what awaits, perhaps trying to figure something out that is just not meant to be.  I ask myself why are you being cautious?  What are you concerned about?  This tends to be the questioning associated when we may not be prepared for the answer.  When we are not sure if what awaits is something we truly want.  However,  I am interpreting this as setting one up for failure before you have even left the gate.  So, now that I have had the opportunity to hear my words speak for what they are, I am challenging myself to correct this mindset by telling myself that you have to let it be, just be present and allow what is meant to be, to be...

You see, I found myself answering my own self doubts. I allowed someone else to help me hear not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.  The answers are really right in front of us, we may need some guidance or assistance from time to time so that we are able to embrace it so that we can continue to receive opportunity, no matter the what, when, or how it arrives. I will work on not being cautiously optimistic and instead I will just be optimistic, with no other conditions.  May this find you well, and as always may you continue to learn from yesterday, so that you can live in today!  

 About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email 
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process.  
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I Certainly Am Not Trying!

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

Nice to be back sharing with all of those that can hear me!  My writing this week is inspired by a post I recently shared on another Can You Hear Me? support platform.  It was another opportunity to empower, support and instruct, something that is a primary influence in what I strive to give.  The post received a lot of traffic and I took notice that people were listening.  It seemed like a great opportunity to provide further support here.  The message was concise and to the point and it began from the acronym/picture you will have noticed above.  The premise is one that we all visit from time to time.  You know those moments when we get in our own way by creating obstacles and barriers that prevent us from moving forward.  It relates to change, for the better that is.

No matter what the change is, it does not happen without these three factors:

      Want   

        Belief  

           Commitment   

In order to embrace this change for the better you have to want it, if you believe it is possible it will be, and to achieve this change you must commit to the necessary work!  It sounds pretty matter of fact to me, and this in of itself is the underlying message here.  It is only as difficult as we make it.  Change is available for all, and if you put forward this intention that I have shared, with purpose and action, then you will get there... How do I know this?  Well, after much trial and error on my part as I have worked towards progress, I have been able to see the rewards as a result of following this plan.  As I write, I think to myself "how can I express to the reader what I feel, know to be true and really trust?"

The only way I can do that is to continue to speak from a place that will always be true to my experience.  One that has allowed me to fall down along the way, while giving me plenty of opportunities to get up, stand up and stay up!  I've always been given a choice, what I did with it determined much, as it does for you.  So with that I leave you with enough to process, learn from, and as always aspire to change for the better!  Be well out there, until we connect again keep your head up and heart open as you continue to work towards your own progress...



About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process.
More about the man behind the mission ⇢

Self-Care, What Exactly Is That? (Part 2)

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?

I recently had a welcomed opportunity to participate in a live twitter chat hosted by Socialworkhelper.com focusing on the relationship between self-care and burnout. It was a great event, a mutual process to engage, share and support (you can view the recap here: Live Twitter Chat).   As the days have past from this chat I have digested the discussion, while taking into account the feedback and outcomes as a result. You see, the format of the chat is rather quick, one hour in length and as the featured guest I wanted to make sure that while I was participating I did my best to address any and all questions that were coming my way, in 140 characters or less!  However, there is so much to share in this needed area of support and so there will always be a need to educate and advocate further...

What I hope to share in this post are my thoughts that have come after the fact, while reinforcing the importance and value we must place on self-care (with a freedom to express more than just a few sentences). In conceiving the idea for this post, I went back into the past and re-read a previous entry that I had put out as an opportunity to educate, advocate and share about self-care, and what it meant through my eyes.  I thought It would be a great opportunity to build upon on this post, hence the title, here is the first part: Self-Care, What Exactly Is That?

It is fair to say that (we can all agree) self-care is so needed in our profession in order to thrive and survive, often without the needed support one would hope to find at their respective places of employment.  It is fair to say that there are some common ways one would enact self-care: exercise, support system, writing, limitations and boundaries. Sounds pretty matter of fact huh?  That's the thing self-care is only as difficult as one makes it to be. For example, the time spent convincing yourself that "I don't have the time" is doing only one thing, reinforcing an outcome that you believe more and more as you say it over and over.  Listen up, (in other words Can You Hear Me?) you make the time!  If something is of value and importance than guess what?  You have the time!  Self-Care only becomes unavailable and looked upon as a chore when you identify it as one.  When Self-Care becomes a want, a choice/belief and a commitment, then as Sister Maya says "If you're for the right thing, than you do it without thinking."  Furthermore, anything that requires effort, discipline and determination can be viewed as work in its essence, but this kind of work is so necessary in order for you to meet the needs of your personal self and professional practice. Therefore, think of Self-Care not as simple, but necessary!

Before I wrap this piece up I want to leave you with some ways that I have come upon to enact and manage my own Self-Care.  Let me preface this by saying that my path towards buying into this process (both personally and professionally) has come with some life lessons that have brought to my knees while holding me accountable in a manner that has me all in, wholeheartedly!

• Here is one that I picked up from Tony Dungy after reading his book Uncommon (Finding your Path to Significance).  He shared an example of how he puts a "tough day" behind him when he arrives home.  Before he enters his house, he pauses near his mailbox, clears his mind and then opens the box and puts his day inside and closes the lid, now it's time to go inside to what matters the most!  I practice this when needed, it helps me stay mindful and aware of where I need to be. 
• Every night before I go to bed (about an hour before) I turn off my phone and the television, or shut down the computer if I happen to be working.  I eliminate the background noise and grab a book or my journal and I breathe into the pages in front of me. This prevents me from being attached and consumed to the devices that I am sure I have spent enough time with already. 
• The last, and something that many often do not take serious enough, I get my rest.  I go to bed at the same time nightly so I can keep myself regulated while getting the needed amount of rest, something I didn't always practice because I didn't value the importance of consistent sleeping cycles, and I was unable to achieve the amount of sleep to be well.  However, when you struggle with sleep and turn to unhealthy ways to manage this, you may find yourself unable to sleep for nearly six days straight, and then you may find yourself ending up in an inpatient bed.  If this is to happen (as it did to me) than you are provided with a very, very real wake-up call, Can You Hear Me? 

Self-Care, What Exactly is That?  If I have empowered and supported you today, then my writing has resulted in an opportunity to facilitate learning, encourage risk and support struggle. What you do with it from here is always a "choice" that you get to make, I'm just trying to hold the door open for you...  Breathe well out there, and when you find yourself unable to, please understand that the opportunity to overcome is available, as long as you are!



About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email 
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process.  
More about the man behind the mission ⇢

The Story...

by Daniel Jacob, MSW: Founder of Can You Hear Me?


One of the greatest opportunities available to all of us is the learning given through the eyes of another... This has, and will always be something that I gravitate towards as it continually inspires, empowers and supports the path that I choose to be on. Thinking about what I might want to share today, I reflected on the past few weeks, and the opportunities that have come my way. When I conceptualized Can You Hear Me?  I knew that my story had to be told as it has been such a strong influence and driving force in all that I strive to share through experience that facilitates learning, encourages risk and supports struggle. With that being said it's not such an easy task to get your story told, or to have the availability from others to share it. However, I've kept at it, continuing to put it out there and I am very pleased to see my story begin to unfold!

I've kept my story to myself for so many years, for reasons that I believe kept it safe and protected. A part of me felt that perhaps it wouldn't be heard, or I just didn't know how to tell it.   Another factor was that I needed to continue to grow and develop while doing the necessary work in order to be able to begin to share. The story is yet from over and I often reflect on just that with excitement and optimism.  If you have been following my blog than you may have picked up on how transformational, intense and challenging the last chapter has been for me.  As they say, the greatest learning does indeed come from overcoming, and with that I have been given a great opportunity, one that has presented a truly amazing learning experience as a result.

I am hopeful that my story will allow those I am striving to reach their own opportunity. I hope that my example can be a model to anyone out there that feels that their story is not one worth sharing, because it is, but only if you believe in it!  What I have come to understand in this process is that you are not given a platform, you must create one, and by chance if you are lucky enough to be given one, I hope you use it wisely with intention and purpose.  As I see my story spread I am mindful of the path I've been on, and I am hopeful that it will continue to gain momentum as it moves closer towards reaching those in need.

In my last post Why, What, and Who? I mentioned that I would be sharing a recent interview I was involved with once it was completed. It has arrived and I am thankful for being given an additional platform to share a part of my history that further shares my story. I want to personally thank Victoria Brewster MSW - SJS Staff Writer for reaching out to me, while facilitating my words into a format that I truly hope opens a door for someone in the helping profession who is searching for the kind of support that Can You Hear Me? represents and strives to provide!  Here is the complete interview.

Before I end for the day and encourage you to move into your own needs I wanted to share that I will be featured on a Live Twitter Chat on Monday, May 6th at 8:00pm EST discussing self-care and burnout.  If you are part of the Twitter platform and are available to join I would welcome the opportunity to engage, share and provide further support on these very important topics. You can follow Can You Hear Me? on Twitter here as I welcome available followers.

As always the opportunity that I find myself invested and immersed into is one that continually presents me with nothing but gratitude. When I write I'm inspired by the possibility of reaching someone in need, and thus the process continues...



 About Author

Daniel Jacob, MSW Email 
Founder of Can You Hear Me? External Field Instructor at University of Southern California School of Social Work MSW@USC. Daniel has a Masters in Social Work (Families and Children Practice/School Social Work). He is currently nearing the completion of the LCSW testing process.  
More about the man behind the mission ⇢