When You Forgive You Live

At a time when I should be fast asleep once again the mind won't rest.  It won't rest because once again I find myself reliving an experience that keeps the wheels turning as I try to process and understand.  Today I visited with a friend (someone who I have a deep level of respect for) and I was witness to a behavior and energy that I had not seen in its entirety until today.  I knew it was present and I have been exposed in the past to lighter moments of it so to speak, but today was different.  Today, I witnessed pain and suffering in its truest form, only born out of years of challenged days and forced conditioning.  Its very difficult to watch someone you care for suffer when you know they have so much to give and live for.  Now I'm not saying this friend is in a state where I am worried that he will harm himself or others, no that's not the case,  What I am saying is that I witnessed someone act in a way that was not who I know he wants to be, and what I know he can be.  I know this because I have seen that person, but like many of us when the triggers hit they can produce a reaction that can and does display a level of existence that completely changes the individual...  http://www.healthycity.org/  (CA Only) and  http://www.211.org/  (Nation Wide)

You see helping someone help them self is not as easy as it sounds.  Sometimes you just have to let them work it out in their own way as best as they can.  This is a difficult process because you know what you want to do, say, etc. but you realize that any suggestions of support you have to give will be interpreted in a way where the person feels they are being attacked (or in the wrong) and that only adds fuel to the fire.  So you ask what can you do?  You listen...  You speak when you feel the need to but you definitely don't pass judgment or use words that will likely produce a defensive reaction from the person you are trying to reach.  This is what I found myself doing today, but none the less by doing such you take on the strain of that anger and pain, it doesn't control your every thought or action, but it can make your heart heavy and your mind strained.  This is the state I find myself in, so I write.  I write so that I can understand and continue to be available and present for a friend who I am concerned about.  I write so I can tell this friend that I now there will be a better day, I really do believe there will.  I write because I know how this friend can get through this but I know he is just not there yet.  I don't know when he will get there, but when he does I know how wonderful his life will become. It will be wonderful because I know the rewards that one receives when they get there.  When You Forgive You Live!       http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antwone_Fisher